Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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