You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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