We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
