I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
