our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
