You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
