We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
