Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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