nut hugger
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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