I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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