I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
