Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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