whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
