there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
