I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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