Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
