I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize