Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
