So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
