The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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