wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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