Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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