New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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