hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
