dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize