I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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