She said her name was "party"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
