we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
