i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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