K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
