i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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