I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
