Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
