UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
