i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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