Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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