Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's never too late to be topless.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
