I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
worst night to have a conscience
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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