okay pat passed out under dana's car
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
