Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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