jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
