Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
