I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
