They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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