This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
