ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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