Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
