just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
