hell yes lets make some ravioli
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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