we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
