Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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