ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
