she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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