White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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