just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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